Well despite my fears of Rogan attending all day kindergarten, they are long in the past. Rogan loved it! He enjoyed every minute of it and looked forward to going each and every day. Not going to lie, my heart was so broken when now both of my boys were gone, there were times I would find myself in stores watching all those moms with their boys still enjoying those precious first five years and I would turn the corner with tears streaming down my face! It hurt and it hurt deep! Such hurt it ached a lot! Well as they say God heals all things. I was at the Y after working out laying at the pool right before school was out for the summer,I looked over at all those moms still enjoying their hip babies and chasing their toddlers. I thought to myself, "Wow my heart is healed, God has healed my broken heart!" No longer did seeing those moms in that phase hurt any more nor did I desire to be in that phase! I am happy with the season of life my boys are in NOW and trying to take in each and every moment for I know all to well how fast these years will continue to pass before my very eyes! God also found other places to heal my heart and use my gifts of being around children. I have been subbing since January as an Instructional Assistant. I would substitute three days a week and come home every single time with a huge smile on my face! I was also offered a job full time which I didn't apply for so I felt very honored to be recommended. I know how hard it is to get on with the HSE school district. I declined the job because I still want to be able to volunteer in my boy's rooms once a week and eat lunch with them. Also, go on field trips and should they get sick, I want to be able to take care of them without worrying about calling in. I also teach the 4-5 year olds at church every other Sunday at our 9:45 service. So yes, God has found other uses for my over protective motherly heart. He also brought two sweet 4 year old boys into my life on Fridays during the school year from 9-11. I watched them at our church while their mothers enjoyed a bible study! That said God continues to place me in the right place because he already knows my story...he wrote it to begin with.
Well here we are with summer and we are having a blast, don't get me wrong not every day is perfect. I do have two little boys and for those of you that have boys, that means everything is physical so lots of rough play!!! meaning lots of bumps and bruises and arguing along the way. Wouldn't trade it because God knew I'd be a great boy mom!!!! We are swimming a lot, bowling, playing outside, just having as much fun as we can for as long as we can because August will be here before we know it and I will have to say goodbye to those sweet boys one more time! Yes, it will hurt again I just know!
